Who is Grace?
I am a human. I am a Christian. I am a child of God. And I have all of the trappings associated with being all three of these things. This is not an order-of-importance list. It is fact.
I am a woman. I am sensitive. I am (for sure) complicated. But to those who know me well, I am a friend. I am a confidant. I am a shoulder to cry on. I am a support. I am an encourager. I am a listener. I am a passionate guide. I am a caregiver. I am a nurturer. I am a motivator (at least, I try). I believe the best about everyone.
I am lost. I am weak at times. I am strong (I try to be strong all the time, but it doesn’t always work). I am trapped at times. I am confused at times. I have little faith at times.
But I also have faith in an awesome and true God. He is strong all the time. He is compassionate all the time. He is good all the time. He is holy all the time. He is righteous all the time. He is right all the time. He is a solid rock all the time. He is the king and I am His daughter. My shortcomings, my sins, my weaknesses, my flesh no longer matter in His eyes. His ear is always lent to me and His heart is always open to me.
Sometimes I go through seasons of life where my faith burns bright and hot, like fire in my bones that can’t be quenched even in the midst of uncertainties. Other times, I feel dead inside, completely numb to the pain I subject myself to, as if God can’t stand the sight of me anymore. In my heart I know He never stops loving me, never stops chasing after me. But in the midst of my sin and my disobedience, it’s hard to feel secure. It’s hard to feel anything really. It’s during these seasons when I have to remind myself that faith is not a feeling. It’s believing in what I know to be real and learning how to trust God as I ride out the waves of this life, whether the waves were sent by God or created by me.
I always have faith that joy will be restored.
Now, enough of the deep and philosophical. Let’s get to who I really am, the little quirks that make my character what it is. So in seemingly random order, here are a few things I would hope people would notice and understand about me.
I love watching movies. I love driving, especially when I get to listen to music and sing and dance. I love walking the beach and watching sunsets. I love reading and writing and journaling. I love being artsy and creative. I’ve developed an obsession with makeup over the last few months. I bought a dog; her name is Lottie, and I love her. She loves the beach and snuggling. Which makes it a match made in heaven because I love those things too. I love sarcasm and sass (I have both of these things in immense supply, at times it is at its highest peak). I love wearing my hair in a messy bun on top of my head. I love wearing leggings and sweats any chance I can. I always prefer cold and rain clouds over heat and blue skies. I love laughing and smiling. Most people would think I don’t talk much; I actually love talking. I love making genuine connections with people and getting to know them. I love listening to what people have to say. I love creating a safe place for people. I love making people feel comfortable although sometimes I question if I’m any good at it. I love to love, especially those who need it most. I love reading my Bible. I love spending as much time of my day in prayer. I love knowing who I am and knowing the reasons behind what I believe and say and do.
As I go through seasons of life…well, really, as God leads me through seasons of life, I learn new things. I observe and ponder so many situations and try to find the hidden reasons behind why things happen the way they do. I find myself in a season like this right now. I am pondering. I am getting to know myself again. And as I get to know myself again, I have a burning flame inside that tells me every day to write.
So if you have found your way to my blog, then you are going to get a heaping helping of all my thoughts…read on if you have the guts. I can’t always guarantee that my thoughts will be pretty, because sometimes they are dark and complicated. But if I’m ever afraid to examine my thoughts and share them with others, there’s something extremely wrong. My hope is that you can sometimes find encouragement here, and other times humor, and still other times a friend who has similar struggles. Whatever you find, know you are never alone. God is always by your side. I know this to be true.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” –Hebrews 10:23 NKJV
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